DeadPan Pizza

	Future weather to create 1/3 more conversation The Irish government held a press conference yesterday to announce that it was on track to achieve its target of creating 33% more conversation from the weather by 2004, despite the fact that no one can recall any such goal ever being declared in the first place.

	Axis ‘Road Map’ leads nowhere Sources close to the White House have admitted that the Israel Palestine road map, the American-written and Israeli-approved proposed peace plan, is full of cul-de-sacs.

Man jailed for exceeding limits on justifiable paranoia Obscure 13th century law used to jail crazed schizophrenic conspiracy-theorist.		Vatican halts float plans following massive stock losses Plans to franchise Australian Church to be investigated by city watchdog.

US claims squatters rights in Baghdad America not moving, its their's they won it fair and square.		Judge sentences philosopher to internal exile Professor lashes out at fate worse than death, has to be beaten and sedated.