US claims squatters rights in Baghdad

US troops have claimed squatters rights in an attempt to counter any international call for coalition troops to withdraw from Iraq. The troops are acting on orders from president Bush, who is furious at attempts by the French and the Russians to place control of Iraq in the international community’s hands.

Speaking from the White House president Bush told reporters: “The UN want to usurp the coalition. They didn’t have the guts to help us get rid of Saddam, they didn’t support us in our actions. Now they want to take all the glory.”

President Bush added: “Not that this is about glory, it’s about doing what’s right for the majority of people in Iraq, and as we calculate the majority of people in the region to be US troops that means us.”