Progress
in Mideast as parties agree only to maim
A
breakthrough was reported in Middle East peace talks this afternoon
between the Israelis and the Palestinians when they agreed to
stop all killings and only maim each other in the future. Ariel
Sharon, the Israeli prime minister, was against the compromise
initially as he thought the vicious cycles of revenge had been
working well up until this point, but he was persuaded to change
his mind at the last minute by a tall leggy blonde.
The
Israeli Defence Force said that it had already issued orders
to soldiers to cease the standard practice of aiming at civilians
heads and that it had re-armed its helicopters with 'rubber
missiles' to inflict fewer fatalities. Other measures call for
houses to be knocked down more gently and for the torture of
prisoners to stop before, not after, the point of death. The
Palestinians are to reciprocate by lacing all suicide bombs
with 'rubber shrapnel' and by ordering children to throw only
small rocks at the Israeli soldiers.
One
TV analyst commenting live on the dramatic developments said:
'It is a mini-giant leap forward or maybe just slightly diagonally...but
still at a good 60 degrees or so...with perhaps a small tiptoe
back at the end.' Others gave the agreement five hours at most
as it is to be declared null and void if anyone should die on
either side.
It
has already come under furious attack from settlers on the West
Bank, who have restated what they see as their God-given right
to use weapons of mass destruction (WMD) at some future point
to defend their caravans.
April 2003
