First
you will need some eggs, one or two per person depending
on the demand and cooked as preferred. You will also require
several sausages, rashers of bacon, sliced - but not tinned
- mushrooms and tomatoes, fried bread and black pudding
(if you are from poor stock).
For garnish, I suggest toasted bread with butter on a
side plate, marmalade, a pot of tea and/or coffee, depending
to taste.
Salt and pepper are, of course, essential for seasoning,
as is brown sauce, and tomato ketchup (again if you are
a little on the pikey-side).
Armed with this list, leave your abode and head for your
nearest high street where you will soon pick up the pungent
scent of a café. Follow the aroma until you reach
the source and order as suggested.
Not only will the food be cooked to a higher standard
than you would be capable if you are nursing a hangover
that would kill a heifer, but it will set you back only
a paltry sum, and someone else gets to do the washing
up.
Enjoy!
Next week: Dinner Parties. Fanny explains
how to pass off take-away Chinese as your own creation.
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