TV Judge sentences man to death

A teenager has been sentenced to death on television by Judge Vito Brambilla - whose new series, called eye4eye, premiered on national networks in the US a month ago - prompting a mountain of complaints from viewers and newspaper editors. Rupert Wallenberg, a 16-year old from Chicago, appeared voluntarily on the programme to settle a claim over a damaged mobile phone, but he quickly earned the ire of the judge by talking back and was sentenced to die.

The defendant was led from the courtroom in a state of shock immediately after the sentence had been passed to be interviewed outside the court with the smiling plaintiff. He said: 'I'm a bit confused here...I mean he's just a small-claims TV-judge, ain't he? No one ever mentioned nothing about executions and stuff...I mean, is he allowed to do that just coz of a broken phone? Oh, I got it now...ha-ha...this is one of them hidden camera things, right? No? You bullshittin' right?' The cameras turned away as he became hysterical.

The judge was unrepentant saying: 'He shoulda' read the small print. If he'd gone to school instead of messing around on the streets breaking girls' phones, then he woulda learned things like how to read. But no, he chose to wise off and call me "a punk-ass bitch" during ratings season and then he thinks I'm just gonna sit there and look bad on front of my fans all across the country? Well, he quickly learned or he soon will.'

Mr Wallenberg is scheduled to be executed live on Judge Vito's new programme, called Street Justice, tomorrow evening during primetime with a single shot to the head in the alleyway behind the court, unless outraged protesters and politicians can stop the broadcast first of course. No appeals can be made to any governor as Mr Wallenberg signed away all his rights to fair justice in the contract, which has been deemed to be legally binding.

The decision is likely to be overturned by the Supreme Court, but the case will not be heard for at least another two years as there is a large backlog of cases already waiting to be heard.

April 2003