Gregory Peck to be next US president

Veteran actor Gregory Peck, 42, has been lined up to takeover the reins as the next president of the United States. Following a fall in popularity of the incumbent president George W Bush, the Washington think-tank Federal Institute of Knowledge (FIK) undertook a Republican Party funded study into the feasibility of replacing President Bush with a more suitable leader in 2004.

FIK spokesman Dwain Dymmer told reporters: The country needs a hero in the White House, and Mr Peck has all the right credentials. He’s tough, photogenic and is taken seriously by anyone who meets him. President Bush has all but three of these qualities.”

When questioned by a Fox reporter about the legitimacy of installing an actor as president without his winning an election, Mr Dymmer retorted: “Look, having a president installed who hasn’t won an election is nothing new, recent American history is littered with such instances and we’re the greatest democracy in the world. Democracy should not stand in the way of our right to appoint the right man for the job.”

Mr Peck was unavailable for comment. An aide said he had gone fishing.