Californian Democrats raise funds to build Robo-man
California's
Democratic Party has been kept busy all week long furiously
denying reports that work has been started on building a 'Robo-man'
to challenge Republican candidate, Arnold Schwarzenegger, in
the race for the state's governorship. Some commentators have
claimed that it is a last act of desperation on the part of
the Democrats, who have no candidate to match the pulling power
of a former Mr Universe and blockbuster movie star in modern-day
American politics.
According to our sources, an elite team of former weapons designers,
Hollywood animators, French fashionistas and non-thinkers from
various Washington think-tanks have been gathered in a secluded
shed in the forests of northern California for over a month
working on the top-secret programme. Potential designs are said
to include an assortment of the latest high-tech weaponry to
protect 2nd Amendment Constitutional rights as well as a changeable
skin to keep up with each season's colours and trends. The contents
of the skull have not yet been divulged, but it is not thought
that the candidate will be able to think for himself (unless
it involves a 'simple kill mission').
Our unnamed source claimed that 'Robo-man' would be unveiled
in one month's time in an ostentatiously extravagant ceremony
in Hollywood before he embarks on 'a whirlwind-blitz of a campaign
of sheer shock and awe'. As there is not much time before the
election, 'Robo-man' will be designed to run at the speed of
sound between cities, so he could potentially make hundreds
of campaign stops, kiss thousands of babies, shake millions
of hands, and give the same speech repeatedly without ever growing
tired. 'Robo-man' will also reportedly be fighting any criminals
he encounters on the campaign trail in an attempt to attract
further favourable PR.
The Democrats only remaining hurdle is the state's ban on machines
holding political office, but they are confident that this can
be overcome with well-placed bribes and a few even-better-placed
sexual favours.
