Korea demands Norway & Chad be added to 6-way negotiations
Kim 'Ill' Jong, supreme leader of the Democratic Republic of
North Korea, has announced that he will refuse to begin six-way
negotiations on nuclear weapons unless Norway and Chad are added
to the talks. Western leaders were quick to dismiss the statement
as another delaying tactic following months of startling revelations
and fierce diplomatic exchanges.
between the two Koreas, the US, China, Japan and Russia had
been scheduled to start at the end of August, but they may now
have to be put back. It would appear that for the moment the
wildly eccentric leader of the bankrupt state on the verge of
collapse has some of the most powerful leaders in a difficult
spot. Several of these nations are already busy conducting wars
and may not have the capacity to find time in their schedules
for another one. There is also the fact that, according to our
source in the Pentagon cafeteria, one million South Koreans
and up to 437 Americans would most likely die in the first month
of any conflict.
the huge potential for catastrophe, President Kim was said to
be adamant that he would not commence talks unless a Norwegian
representative was present as he 'wouldn't trust the integrity
of the process unless there was at least one Scandinavian involved'.
He said his preference was for a leggy blonde scientist with
large mammary glands if there was one available and has requested
several DVDs featuring Viking vixens presenting their assets
for review purposes.
the Supreme Leader has been playing host to a delegation from
the small central African nation of Chad, who have been in Pyongyang
negotiating a weapons deal. Making what is seen in North Korea
as a typically generous gesture, President Kim felt it would
be rude of him not to invite them to join him. He has reportedly
formed quite a bond with some of the Chad delegation while watching
old Gary Cooper westerns in his private theatre and, simultaneously,
engaging in wild orgies with prostitutes.
Korea also announced that they would be building three new 'hydro-neutron
proton bombs', but the spokesman gave no further details.