fat in public to be banned in California
Los Angeles will be going to the polls next week to vote on
a referendum banning fat people from being seen anywhere in
public. The move comes hot on the heels of successful campaigns
to outlaw smoking in all areas, even the subconscious.
one local representative explained: 'In our experience, we find
that having fat people wandering freely all over the place tends
to de-beautify an area and drive away tourists and business.
It can also offend the civic vanity of some of our more distinguished,
rich and high-minded citizens, so we think it would just be
better for all concerned if they'd just stay indoors.'
measure proposes setting-up a special Meals-on-Wheels service
to cater to the needs of all fat people in their homes. They
would be fed strictly measured amounts of food until they were
thin enough to be deemed fit to appear in public by a special
committee. The committee would consist of out-of-work actors
and fashion magazine writers, who will determine the criteria
for who may or may not go outside.
Warinski, the leader of the local Republican Party, said: 'It's
just plain unhealthy...unhealthy for them and for us and our
children having to look at them, so of course it should be banned.
Most things should be.'