Gay bishops plan 'wild bash' to celebrate Anglican schism

The Ultra-liberal Gay Anglican Group (ULGAG), an underground organisation of clergymen within the Anglican Church around the world, is to celebrate the upcoming schism with the 'wildest and gayest bash the church has ever seen'. A source within the group claimed that its leaders were now convinced that the recent controversies surrounding the appointments of gay bishops would soon lead to a separation of the church into Evangelical Anglicans (Evanlicans) and Liberal Anglicans (Liblicans).

The source said the motivation behind the event was simple: 'To celebrate being rid of a bunch of intolerant, literal-minded, Bible-thumping lunatics who would rather pretend we were still living 2000 years ago and that the same laws should apply despite the fact that everything else has changed many times over since then.' It was only after this point that he asked not to be quoted.

He said that the group had decided to hold the party in the gardens of the Archbishop of Cantebury's Lambeth Palace on a weekend while he was away, but they had yet to choose a final theme. Some wanted to have a 70s disco night with plenty of Abba, but more senior bishops in the group are said to favour a leather fetish theme. An after-party orgy will reportedly be held in the Palace itself.

The Archbishop of Cantebury was said to be 'shocked but strangely fascinated' by the revelations.