Blair brands Saddam a monster

Prime Minister Tony Blair was criticised last night for referring to Saddam Hussein as a monster. The Monsters Union objected to Mr Blair’s opinion in a strongly worded statement released to Parisian reporters by the cultural attaché, The Phantom of the Opera. Reading from the press release The Phantom charged the British Prime Minister with ‘tarring all monsters with the same brush’.

Sympathising with the Monsters Union, President Chirac of France said: ‘Yet again Blair is on the war path, and his attitude will only exacerbate an already fraught international diplomatic situation. To allege that an innocent union of blood-sucking vampires, ghouls, goblins and fiends have anything in common with Saddam is deeply insulting to both parties.’

Echoing the President’s views, Union General Secretary Count Dracula stated: ‘There’s enough bad blood between us and the British as it is. Comments such as the ones made by Mr Blair leave a foul taste in the mouth.’

Also speaking from union HQ in Transylvania, Middle Eastern representative The Mummy explained: ‘Relations between the wealthy Western nations and ourselves have been fraught for many years. Incidents over the years in places as diverse as Paris and the Whitby Bay testify to as much. Things will only unravel further should the British and the Americans not chose their words more carefully.’